Midnight doodles.

Oh tell me you love me,
I need someone
On days like this, i do,
On days like this

-Tell Me You Love Me, Demi Lovato

I’m not sad. At least, not yet. All i know is that i have SAD (winterdepression). I don’t know when or how, i just know that someday it will kick in and everything will seem to go wrong even when it’s all alright.
I feel wrong. I feel wrong for not doing the right things. I just wish i still had you to ask all these questions. I wish i had you to listen to someone who could teach me. I wish i had this character in my life that could guide me. A sister, a brother, a cousin, a friend. Just someone who understands me and can hold me and tell me what to do in circumstances i didn’t choose to be in. I just wish you were here so we could have fun. I just wish you could still tell me you loved me. Oh tell me you love me, I need someone on days like these I do. On days like these.
Don’t get me wrong. I want you to be happy. I want you to move on and continue with whatever path you think is your destination. I just wish I could play back the memories and live in them. And tell myself I’m so lucky to have you. And I won’t tell myself to appreciate you or love you more. I know that I thanked God every morning and each night for having you. I know that I did my best. I just wish i could live back in the moments that I called you mine. I just wish I could feel loved at that level again. But it’s so hard. Because I’m not used to any of it. I’m not used to being alone.

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